When Hidden Intentions Finally Show
Have you ever noticed that the people watching you the hardest are usually the ones waiting?
Waiting for your marriage to fall apart.
Waiting for your family to break.
Waiting for life to hand them something they can throw back in your face.
People who are busy building their own lives usually don’t have time to sit around waiting for someone else’s to fall apart.
They’re too busy living.
One thing I’ve always told my spouse is this…
If you ever make a decision that could hurt this marriage, don’t let me hear it from somebody else.
Tell me.
Don’t give another person the satisfaction of showing up with information they think is going to destroy our home.
Because there are people who wait for moments like that.
Not because they care about your marriage.
They’re hoping it’s the beginning of the end.
They’re hoping they’ll finally have something to say.
Something to repeat.
Something they believe will create distance between two people who chose each other.
I’ve never understood that way of thinking.
Imagine carrying someone else’s marriage around in your mind.
Imagine waiting for another family to fall apart.
Imagine hoping another person’s worst day becomes your biggest conversation .
Who lives like that?
The older I get, the more I pay attention to patterns instead of words.
People tell you who they are long before they ever say it out loud.
Listen to how they speak about the people closest to them.
Their own children.
Their own siblings.
Their own relatives.
Their own friends.
One day they’re laughing together.
The next day they’re repeating conversations that should have never left the room.
Private moments somehow become public discussions.
You sit there wondering how that happened.
Then one day…
Your name becomes part of that conversation.
And suddenly everything makes sense.
It’s what they do.
It’s a personal attack.
That’s why I’ve stopped trying to figure people out.
I am very observant.
With time and experience around these kind of characters, your spirit allows you to just keep your mouth shut.
Not because we think we’re better than anyone.
Not because we dislike anyone.
We’ve learned that not everyone asking about your life is asking because they genuinely care.
Some people are looking for information.
Some people are looking for an opening.
At the end of the day, they’re just waiting for a moment to spread rumors. This is what it boils down to.
The less they know, the more uncomfortable they become.
Because they can’t repeat conversations they never heard.
They can’t create confusion when they no longer have access.
They can’t use your life as entertainment when you’ve stopped giving them front row seats.
One thing I’ve also learned is that everybody doesn’t deserve another chance to have access to you.
People will tell you, “Life is short.”
“That’s family.”
“Give them another chance.”
But nobody has to live with the consequences except you.
If someone waits for opportunities to embarrass you instead of protecting you…
Believe them.
If someone secretly roots against your marriage while smiling in your face…
Believe them.
Not because people can’t change.
Because change is something people show over time.
Not something they announce.
I’ve learned not to reconnect with people simply because time has passed.
Time doesn’t automatically change intentions.
Distance doesn’t automatically change character.
An apology doesn’t always change motives.
Some people don’t come back because they’ve changed.
They come back because they want access again.
Access to your life.
Access to your home.
Access to your conversations.
Access to information they no longer have.
And if the intention behind reconnecting hasn’t changed, neither will the outcome.
You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your life.
Especially the people who have already shown you what they do with it.
The truth is, some people will always feel some type of way about you.
Not because of who you are.
Because of what they carry.
That’s theirs to deal with.
Not yours.
You don’t have to convince people to love you.
You don’t have to chase people who secretly roots against you.
And you don’t have to keep reopening doors to people who have already shown you they walk through them with the wrong intentions.
Life has a way of revealing what people try to hide.
You don’t have to expose them.
Give it time.
Watch the patterns.
Watch the conversations.
Watch the choices they make when they think no one is paying attention.
Character always introduces itself.
Sooner or later.
And when it does, you’ll realize you didn’t lose people who wanted the best for you.
You lost people who wanted access to you without ever having good intentions for you.
There’s a difference.
And once you recognize it…
You stop confusing someone’s desire to reconnect with their willingness to change.
I hope these words resonated with my people. If they did, then you know exactly why I write.
Until next time… take care of yourself.
— Abi Brooklyn