Stop Reopening the Door You Closed

Some people don’t handle

losing access to you very well.

Especially when they were

used to knowing everything.

What you’re doing.

Who you’re talking to.

What’s happening in your home.

What’s happening in your relationship.

What’s happening with your children.

Your plans.

Your business.

Everything.

Then you create boundaries

and suddenly you’re the problem.

Now it’s…

How dare you have the

audacity to cut me off?

Like being part of your life was

something they were entitled to.

Like family, history, or whatever title they hold

means you have to keep accepting behavior

you wouldn’t accept from anybody else.

No.

That’s not how it works.

And for me, it goes deeper than somebody

simply wanting to know my business.

Sometimes you already know.

You’ve watched the patterns for years.

You’ve seen enough to know certain

people were never supposed to

follow you into your next chapter.

But when you have a good heart,

sometimes you give people another chance.

Then another.

You tell yourself maybe it’ll be

different this time.

You fall back.

You reconnect.

You fall back again.

And every time you open that door,

something else gets exposed.

Not because you’re looking for it.

It just keeps showing itself.

That’s the part that will get you.

Because eventually you have to stop asking…

Why do they keep doing this?

And ask yourself…

Why do I keep going back?

Come on now.

If somebody has shown me the same pattern

over the years, at what point do I believe

what I’ve already seen?

That’s where I had to check myself.

Because I can’t keep blaming somebody

for bringing the same behavior to a door

I keep reopening.

That’s on me.

Having a good heart doesn’t mean

you keep giving people opportunities

to disturb your peace.

It doesn’t mean you ignore what

you’ve already seen.

And it definitely doesn’t mean everybody gets

to come with you just because they’re family.

Mother.

Brother.

Sister.

Relative.

Friend.

I don’t care what the title is.

Everybody cannot go where you’re going.

And sometimes the final confirmation comes

in a way you never expected.

Something happens.

The behavior gets exposed.

This time, there’s no easy way to

explain it away.

And instead of somebody

being able to say…

Yeah. I did that. I was wrong.

Here comes the blame.

Somebody else made them do it.

Somebody else caused it.

Then come the stories.

The rumors.

Anything that takes the attention away

from what actually happened.

And that’s when you have to stop

getting pulled into it.

Because when someone is embarrassed

by their own behavior, you don’t know

what story they may tell themselves

or other people to make themselves

feel better about it.

Let them.

These type of people only feel some type

of way because they got caught.

So, don’t argue with these kind of people.

They want to spread rumors…

rumors don’t define you.

You simply don’t have to reopen communications

just because somebody is upset that

You finally closed it.

Sometimes all of that is just more confirmation

that they are unhealthy for you.

That’s it.

You don’t have to diagnose anybody.

You don’t have to figure out..

what’s wrong with them.

You don’t have to spend another year trying to

understand why they behave the way they do.

Look at the pattern.

That’s enough.

And if somebody carries beliefs or practices

Witchcraft, voodoo, negativity,

whatever it may be..

You rebuke it.

You don’t want it around yourself.

You don’t want it in your household.

Keep your distance.

You don’t have to prove what somebody

does behind closed doors to know you

don’t want the energy or behavior

around you.

Your boundary doesn’t need their approval.

And your privacy becomes even more

important once you finally understand that.

Everybody doesn’t need your new number.

Everybody doesn’t need updates

about your marriage.

Your children.

Your home.

Your plans.

Your money.

Your next move.

And sometimes you have to look at the people

still connected to the people you removed.

Not because everybody is carrying information.

You don’t know that.

But because once you’ve decided

your life needs more privacy.

Stop oversharing.

Stop explaining.

Stop giving updates just because somebody asks.

Some things can simply stay inside your home.

I’ve learned that you don’t have to hate somebody

to know they can’t come with you.

You don’t have to wish them bad.

You don’t have to expose them.

You don’t even have to make them understand.

You can simply say to yourself…

I’ve seen enough.

And mean it this time.

Because that’s the part that matters.

Not cutting somebody off for a week.

Not going silent for few months.

Not saying you’re done and then reopening

the same door when enough time passes.

If you already know the pattern…

Stop volunteering for another demonstration.

That’s the lesson.

People will treat you according to

what you continue to allow.

Your next chapter doesn’t need

everybody from the last one.

Some people were the reason you learned

to turn the page in the first place.

Leave them there.

Protect your privacy.

Protect your household.

Protect your peace.

And when the old behavior starts

knocking again…

remember why you closed the door

In the first place.

This is your safe place.

You’re always welcomed here.

— Abi Brooklyn